窗外有藍天 - 山居筆記

進入正題前，先來看幾張養眼的照片...

Hola.... Soy 金髮碧眼的 Jorgito.... 
 
 
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時光飛逝，歲月如梭

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歲月不饒人...  原來喜金ㄟ....  (這人就是不願意好好拍照，每張都是這副怪德行)

    
 
你們西班牙人都是這樣子嗎？

海囉.... 偶悶塞班牙人都素這樣子的囉... (廣東台灣國語 ^^;)

 
千挑萬選，好不容易撿到一張正常一點的.... 大家好，恐尼七挖

所以，為什麼拿破崙會說，庇里牛斯山以南都是非洲，不是沒有道理的..

嗯嗯... 就是這樣囉，請先去洗一下眼睛，再繼續看下去....

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你不可不知的奈及利亞
======================

你對奈及利亞的瞭解有多少？

曾經，我跟各位一樣，對奈及利亞這個國家一無所知，只知道這是個非洲國家，離西班牙還蠻近的.... 

這兩個禮拜以來，卻有了重大的轉變，原來，他可是世界知名的詐騙集團大本營 (據說規模僅次於中國大陸)

事發經過如下：

三月中，我買了台新的筆記型電腦，所以把舊筆電放在奇摩上拍賣

兩個禮拜前，我收到一封來自英國的 email，聲稱對我的筆電非常感興趣，內容如下：

======== 2009/3/30 下午 9:16:59 來自 m.hodget77@yahoo.co.uk ======== 

Maria 來信：Hello, Am Mrs Maria Hodget From United Kingdom am willing interested in purchasing your above listed item to my son who is schooling  at Westybulk college as a Birthday Celebrating Gifts, so am too conscious  to know much  about the above listed  item, maybe the item is (Used Or New)  i will also like to know the current condition of the item how many pieces  you are having available?? for further discussion contact me :m.hodget77@yahoo.co.uk

寄件者是英國的 Marid Hodget 女士，她兒子在 Westybulk 學院唸書，她說，對我的 Dell 筆電非常感興趣，想買下這台筆電送給兒子做為生日禮物，甚至問我有幾台，她想大量訂購。

不過，仔細看看這封信，堂堂一個英國人，英文程度可以爛到這樣？真是匪夷所思。跟老弟商量的結果：應該是詐騙集團，不理她！不過，我還是回了信，告訴她由於電腦是非常精密的東西，包裝很麻煩，所以不方便寄到國外。

======== 2009/3/31 上午 5:58:40 來自 m.hodget77@yahoo.co.uk ======== 

Maria 來信：Thanks for your mail, how much are you willing to sell the above listed (DELL INSPIRON 8600) to my son at WestyBulk colllege,i wait for your mail including your full Bank Payment details or Paypal payment request Email, so that i can give you my son hostel  address to confirm the shipping cost via Register Post 5-7 Days delivery,  your urgently respond is needed .... Mrs Maria Hodget...

大概的意思是：要我立即報價，並給她完整的帳戶資料，或是透過 Paypal 傳送付款要求給她。

那幾天我的工作量暴增，根本沒空理她。一直到 4 月 10 日，工作終於告一段落，我決定跟她開個玩笑，便用「中文」回信 (菩薩請不要怪我啊 ^^;)

Vicki 回信：

您好，不好意思這麼晚才回信，上禮拜臺灣政變，大家人心惶惶，無空上網。筆電含快遞費用總共是 1500 歐元，麻煩您將款項匯入下列帳戶，收到款項後，我會立即替您寄出，再次謝謝您的惠顧～

郵局代號：700
帳號：2889072-0006355
戶名：南無阿彌陀佛

======== 2009/4/11 上午1:15:31 來自 raymond_dart01@yahoo.com ======== 

就在這時候，我收到另一封信，自稱是英國的 Raymond Dart，想要買下我的筆電，送給目前在奈及利亞唸書的女兒做為生日禮物，請我報價並附上銀行帳戶資料。

Vicki 回信：

Hi, this laptop was sold to your friend Maria Hodget, whose son is studying in WestyBulk college.  you can contact her to see if she wants to resell it to you. (你好，這台筆電已經賣給你朋友 Maria Hodget，她兒子也在 WestyBulk College 唸書，你可以跟她聯絡，看她是否願意讓給你) 

======== 2009/4/11 上午 5:39:40 來自 m.hodget77@yahoo.co.uk ======== 

Maria 來信：Thanks  for your mail, here below  is my son address where you will be shipping the packages to via Ems speedpost,so comfirm the shipment charge and get back to me so that i can remit the payment to your account,

NAME: OKIKIOLUWA SUNDAY
ADDRESS: NO 3 FAJOL STREET
CITY: OBANTOKO
STATE: OGUN
ZIPCODE: 23439 2348066714070
Country: Nigeria

i wait for your reply soon so that i  can make the payment, so comfirm  the bank info and mail me with the  cost so that i can remit the payment without Error..

Post Code: 700
Account :2889072-0006355
Name: Southern No Buddha 

收到這封信後，我跟老弟都笑彎了腰.... 

一，什麼樣的人會把兒子送到奈及利亞去唸書？
二，她兒子的名字的確很非洲，應該是當地人吧？
三，南無阿彌陀佛 --> Southern No Buddha .... 哇哈哈哈哈，應該是用 Bebel Fish 之類的網路翻譯軟體轉翻的吧 ^^

Vicki 回信：

妳好，戶名是南無阿彌陀佛，不是 Southern No Buddha
您必須以中文姓名匯款，銀行才會接受款項，感恩～
還有，您的朋友 Raymond Dart 也想買這部電腦，他女兒好像跟你兒子念同一個學校
不妨考慮讓他們兩共用一台，畢竟有緣...

======== 2009/4/14 上午5:37:20 來自 ABBEY BANK CUSTOMER CARE======== 

寄件者：ABBEY BANK CUSTOMER CARE 
主旨：****ABBEY BANK ONLINE TRANSFER****SW1100591978KMS**** 

Dear  Customer  Amitabha 南无
 
We have received a TRANSFER ORDER placed by our Client (Mrs Hodget Maria) to have the sum of ($1500.00 Usd)transferred to you as a payment for your (DELL INSPIRON 8600) and it has been successfully processed and has consequently been APPROVED. The Money will be TRANSFERRED to the account Details Stated Below,  Please verify that the Details (As entered by the buyer) are correct

想想看，Abbey Bank 可是世界七大銀行集團之一，怎麼可能沒確認那個帳號是否有效，就馬上匯款了？而且這次「南無阿彌陀佛」變成「Amitabha 南无」 ... 喔呵呵 ^^;

Vicki 回信：

I requested 1500 euros, not 1500 usd.  There must be something wrong.  Please contact your client.  (我要求 1500 EURO，不是 1500 USD 喔，請再確認一次！)

這麼大的銀行怎麼會連貨幣都搞錯？之後補繳款項的書信往返我就先省略了....

======== 2009/4/14 下午1:02:31 來自 m.hodget77@yahoo.co.uk======== 

Maria 來信：Thanks  for your mail, i want you to know that the money have been deducted  from my account to your bank pending account so  i urge  you to go get the laptop packages with all it's accessories  ready for shipment and  get back to my bank with the shipment slip  for shipment verification and after shipment  verification your account will  be credited,   i  mean  by the shipment slip is  the shipment tracking number and shipment receipts  given to you after making the shipment. Morso i wait for your mail, also with the shipment details also reply is needed urgently. 

意思是說，銀行已經從她的帳戶扣款了，我必須立即寄出筆電，然後通知銀行掛號追蹤號碼，銀行就會把錢匯進我 (or 南無阿彌陀佛) 的帳戶。

Vicki 回信：

Dear Ms. Maria
 
I tried to ship the computer this morning, but both UPS and Fedex refused to ship it to the address in Nigeria due to rampant fraud.    They said this address is no longer valid.   I have a friend who is going to London on Thursday.   She can deliver the computer to you.   Her mobile is 886-947887239.   You can contact her to collect the computer and pay her 1400 euros in cash. (不好意思，我今天去過 UPS、Fedex，他們都說無法寄到奈及利亞，因為詐欺案頻傳，所以不收件。不過，我有朋友後天會去倫敦，我會託她帶筆電過去，她的手機是：886-947887239。請與她聯絡取件事宜，請直接付現，算您 1400 EURO 就好！)

Yours sincerely, 

南無阿彌陀佛

======== 2009/4/14 下午7:26:58來自 ABBEY BANK CUSTOMER CARE======== 

寄件者：ABBEY BANK CUSTOMER CARE 
主旨：***ABBEY BANK ALERT ORDER TO SHIP OUT***

We are hereby contacting you regarding the  transaction between you, and your verified Buyer  (Mrs Maria  Hodget), it has been a quit long  since when we sent you the payment confirmation mail, approved that we have deducted the money from your verified Buyer account to your pending account, we only need the shipment verification so that we can activated your account, and you  have refuse to carry out our order since we  sent to you the payment confirmation mail approved..regarding you to ship out  we want to know why you have not make the shipment and send to us the shipment slip for shipment verification, we urge you to get back to us with the shipment verification

意思是說，他們發出匯款確認函這麼久了 (也才不到 10 小時)，我都沒有動靜，勒令我立即把筆電寄出

Vicki 回信：

Dear Mr. Kenneth Lewis,
 
Why are you so anxious?   You want to close this deal as soon as possible?   Mailing computer is a huge process, not every delivery company accept this transaction.  You think it is so easy ?????  This service is terrible.   I'm going to report to your boss!!!! (你幹嘛那麼緊張？你是想儘快完成這筆交易嗎？你以為寄電腦是這麼容易的事啊？那些快遞公司都不收件，我有什麼辦法？你的服務實在太糟糕了，我一定要向你的老闆檢舉你！)
 
南無阿彌陀佛

======== 2009/4/14 下午1:02:31 來自 m.hodget77@yahoo.co.uk======== 

Maria 來信：Thanks  for your mail, i want you to know that the laptop should be shipped  via Register post office of tawain, the address is  valid and confirm  by my son Nani Mr Sunday Okikioluwa, so take the laptop to post office and make the shipment  not FedEx because FedEx or Ups  did not deliver at my son hostel the packages can only be shipped and allow my post office or Ems speed post so  make the shipment of the laptop tomorrow morning and send the shipment slip to my bank for shipment  verification,   after the shipment verification 1500.00Euro will be release to your account, i wait for your mail, after making the shipment

意思是說，我必須透過台灣郵局掛號寄出才行，Fedex 和 UPS 都不能寄到她兒子的旅館 (這是什麼道理啊？)，要我立即寄出筆電，然後通知銀行掛號追蹤號碼，銀行就會把錢匯進我的帳戶。

這時，我已經不想再玩下去了，還挺累的...

Vicki 回信：

Dear Mrs Maria or Mrs Hodget,
 
Your bank manager Mr. Lewis sent me 4 emails in one day!!!   He keeps asking me to send the laptop and was very impatient and impolite !!!   This is incredible.   I spent ALL DAY contacting DHL and UPS, and I'm very angry and very tired now.   You should talk to Mr. Lewis, ask him to change his attitude.   I'm sorry that this deal cannot continue because I don't trust him !!!! (你那個銀行經理一天內寄了 4 封 email 給我，不停地催我，實在太沒禮貌了！我花了一整天時間聯絡 DHL 和 UPS，現在又氣又累！請你跟 Mr. Lewis 好好談談，他實在是太不專業了！我無法相信他，很抱歉這筆交易無法再進行下去了)
 
Best wishes,
 
南無阿彌陀佛

======== 2009/4/15 上午11:44:34來自 m.hodget77@yahoo.co.uk======== 

Maria 來信：Am very sorry for disturbing you, but i just want to remind you that  you will making the shipment this morning get the packages(laptop) shipped out, and i have  contacted Abbey bank that they should add 100.00Euro to your pending account, but i told them not to notify  until you mail, so you will be notify once you make the shipment that the amount that will be release to your account is 1600.00Euro,  More so the reason why i make an additional payment of 100.00Euro  to your account  is because  you have stress alot,  i just appreciate you for been honest so  keep your word and make the shipment am very sorry  for the mails you receive just that Abbey bank want to keep you connected that you have a transactions going on, my dear  you have  to finish the transaction today, May God bless  you as  you understand me...  i wait for your reply soon

意思是說，她要多付我 100 歐，因為她覺得我壓力很大... 連「my dear」、「God bless you」都出來了.... 哇哈哈哈

Vicki 回信：

Hi,  this week is national holiday in Taiwan (Spring festival).   The post office is not open until April 20.   Only Fedex, UPS, DHL are open.  (這個禮拜台灣放春假喔，郵局要到下禮拜一才開，現在只有 Fedex、UPS、DHL 等快遞公司營業)
 
yours sincerely,
 
南無 

======== 2009/4/15 下午5:34:24 來自 m.hodget77@yahoo.co.uk ======== 

Maria 來信：Thanks for your mail, i will be waiting for your mail, on 20 of April after making the shipment via  Register post  send the shipment slip but  i will like to keep you in touch so i will be mailing you just to inform you, kindly accept my mail, and also mail me,  also mail Abbey bank that you will be making the shipment on 20 of april, i wait for your mail soon

天哪... 還不死心耶... 她說她願意等！！！真的不想再玩下去了，所以我回了一封亂碼信：

笑ㄟ銝诎�嚗繮�蝝栋�銝�暺霛�嚗霁��曉珯�支�瘥舣 
詐片�尽��支�甈⊿撒瘨刧�嚗颤��鲳��喳魉鈭�
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夭壽��枞�嚗盙�銝菝末�镦�鮋�8
誰會�鲭�瘝条��餃蔣鈭顼撠曹�閬眏�銴浆�鈭称��
給妳蝯虫��� ^^�栈��殷����诎�憭乛骼�芰�
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作夢�嗆姣�梁���銝陉��桧兢�剖��怿�憟枞劂

南無阿彌陀佛善哉善哉